Friday, July 7, 2017

7 Things You Should Never Say To Your Indian Mother-In-Law

Parents looking for matches? Recently married? Has it been 25 years with your mother-in-law? Whichever group you belong to, the only eligibility you need to read this article is to have a mother-in-law. Even if you are fifty years old and you are a mother-in-law yourself but still have a mother-in-law, you will still have to read these 7 things that you daren’t say to your (Indian) mother-in-law.

1. I Know Your Son Better; I’m Sure He Likes This

1. I Know Your Son Better; I’m Sure He Likes This

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Bahus? Seriously? You actually had the audacity to say THAT? It might be true, but you still don’t talk like that to a mom-in-law and definitely not to an Indian mom-in-law. This could prove to be the biggest of your follies, and you might have to pay for it the rest of your life. Just say it – “Only you know your son. It might take me a lifetime to be like you.” They will love you more than their daughters probably! This time

2. Don’t Cook For Us, My Husband and I Are Going Out For Dinner

2. Don’t Cook For Us, My Husband and I Are Going Out For Dinner

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Again, dining out with your husband and not inviting her? I don’t know what’s worse – going out without her or going out with your husband? Why are things with MILs so tricky? Wait for your mom-in-law to go to her Delhi wali didi’s bhaanja’s behen’s naamkaran if you want to go out for dinner with your husband peacefully. And that is if she doesn’t drag him with her to the naming ceremony. Sorry! That’s how it is.

3. I Won’t Leave The Kids With You

3. I Won’t Leave The Kids With You

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And that’s the beginning of the apocalypse. Someone who has single-handedly brought her kids up and that too with the little money she got from teaching kids in the colony or stitching blouses, cannot digest the fact that her daughter-in-law is now keeping her away from her grandchildren. Of course, not all mothers-in-law tutor kids or stitch blouses but no matter what they do, they feel they have earned money in exchange for their khoon and paseena. And mind you, what their husbands do doesn’t count as parvarish, NO WAY! So, daughters-in-law, you aren’t dealing just with your spouse’s mother right now. You are talking to the oh-so-sentimental Mother India.

4. Wear This Sari, Instead

We know the enthusiastic MILs, and that quite often reflects in their fashion sense. But daughters-in-law, learn to stay neutral or learn to agree with her no matter what. Also, there are going to be some tests in your journey with your mom-in-law. She is going to ask you, how the sari looks on her. That’s the trick! There’s something called the truth which the MIL has got nothing to do with, and then there’s something called “what she wants to hear” and that’s everything you want to do with. Again, it’s tricky but which woman would want to hear anything against her fashion sense. Careful, daughters-in-law!

5. Kids? Not Anytime Before 2020

5. Kids Not Anytime Before 2020

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How can you decide that? Isn’t the mom-in-law in charge of when you are going to have kids, when they are going to be one year old, which school they should go to, what they should wear, and who they should get married to? There’s a lot of it that she is going to decide. Maybe you can choose their toothbrush at the most. So don’t bother saying that you don’t want to have kids for the next few years unless you are okay with a cold brawl happening in your house for EVER.

6. Let’s Go To Vegas This Summer

6. Let’s Go To Vegas This Summer

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Vegas? Indian mom-in-law? Are you out of your mind? Haven’t you understood the trends in your husband’s house after they have booked a trip to Manali for your honeymoon? That’s all you are going to get, n\bahus. Be ready for a chaar dhaam yatra or at the most to Kullu or Manali. If you get extremely lucky, it could be a Goa. But Vegas? LOL. Save yourself the how-could-you-do-this-to-me looks and never ever blurt out vacation ideas. Like the rest of them, let her decide this too.

7. NO

Yes, it is as simple as that. The one word answer to Things You Should Never Say To Your Indian Mother-In-Law is no, no, no, and NO. That’s one thing they’d never like to listen. If you want something called peace, just say yes to whatever she says, and she will love you for years to come.

Otherwise…

Otherwise...

Image: Giphy

Well, all Indian moms-in-law sorry to have mocked you all throughout today’s article but we all love you the way you are and respect you for many things, don’t we? Like many such archetypes, this saas-bahu relationship is one of a kind and will continue to look like a Tu Tu Main Main soap in real-time. If it is not these 7 things, it is some other 70 things. Yet, all’s well that ends well! How has it been with your mother-in-law? Comment below and let me know.

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